
“I don’t know what that could be.”
Kayla, Belleville IL
17
parenting
I got pregnant because I was alone a lot. My mom was gone all the time over her boyfriend’s house, and my brothers was always outside. Nobody ever really wanted to be around me, is what I feel. So, I got a boyfriend. Well, he was not really my boyfriend, but I knew I wanted to have a baby. I watched the show 16 and Pregnant all the time, and it seemed like a baby made them feel better about being alone a lot. It gave me something to care about and someone to take care of, which I thought would ease or help me not feel as alone as I did. When I told my mom I was pregnant, it was almost as if she didn’t even hear what I had said, because she just kept on going out the door. The only time she would say something about me even being pregnant is when she was yelling at me for something else. And then she would say things like, “It’s no wonder your little nasty ass got pregnant.” But other than that, it was just me, myself, and I. And once I had my baby, then I had somebody to talk to, somebody to play with. I wouldn’t even let my baby go to sleep and get rest because I wanted to talk. And her daddy don’t come around. He always said the baby was not his, but his friend’s. But that’s not true. That was just his way of shaking the scene. As for my mom, she don’t say much to me, but she do talk to my baby sometimes. I guess I still feel alone when my baby’s sleeping, but now that she up moving around, it gives me a little bit more of a fun time with her.
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I thought being a mom would make me not feel so alone. But I learned that when she sleeps, I’m still feeling alone. So, it must be something else going on with me, and I don’t know what that could be. So don’t think that being a mom makes it all better. It does somewhat, but not all better.
August 12, 2026 at 2:42:31 PM